This is the time of year where it gets close to the close of another year since Christopher passed. The first September after he passed was rough remembering the milestones of getting the phone call that life was going to change as we knew it. Explaining to the one I loved that while he had so much hope that would fill the world three times over it wasn't enough to keep him here on this mortal plain. September became that month that could fall off my calendar and I wouldn't ever care; in fact I think I would have preferred for it to just disappear all together and those memories wiped from certain parts of my mind. But then again that's completely impossible and as I have discovered it's when we don't face the things we fear is when we lose our selves into the deepest darkest parts of our minds and as we all know that's not the healthiest way of dealing with them.
Then last year I was able to participate in a run that was a turning point in my life. One song into this 5k run my iPod died and I was left to my own thoughts for the next 3 something miles... ugh... But God had a plan that the iPod needed to die so he and I could have a talk and I was able to leave allot on that track and yet pick up the pieces of me that I didn't know I had left behind. It was so moving. To be honest I'm not really sure I can even put into words what it meant in the way that would do it justice. That day when I got home Ethan was full of questions. Why did I run? Where did I run? Did I know that Daddy was on my shirt? I won't lie knowing his curiosity for what I just done; I knew that this year I would try and make him a part of it.
So this year as I trained for my run on the treadmill (yeah, for those who don't know Dallas has been in the triple digits for a crazy amount of days) I let Ethan be apart of my training. I would put on one of his shows and we would race! Well, now let me explain the race. I tried to finish my run before his show was over. It worked great until he wanted apple juice or crackers during the run (those were the days that I lost). But I also talked to him about why his Mommy was running (and let him pose with my shoes). I explained that children are going through the same thing his dad went through and "we" need to help them the best way we know how. And this month it's through this run.
For those of you who don't know much about Heroes For Children; I encourage you to take some time and read about them and what they do for families dealing with childhood cancers. I also ask that if you are able to please donate to this wonderful charity. This year anyone who donates to my page will be put into a raffle to have the chance to win a top of their choice from BackPocket Sports. I will also like to add that if you would like me to run in the memory of someone or in the honor of someone I would be more than happy! Just comment with who and why and I will wear a band around my wrist with their name so they can run this with me and remind people that it's not about the one, but the many.
I would like to close this with a thank you to all my readers who give me strength and courage to push through the day and better myself. Pax to you all.
