The Request We Hold in Our Hearts

A good friend wrote to me in an email, "I trust that God knows the requests we hold in our hearts," and it has stuck with me this weekend.

The person who wrote this is also leaving today with her husband for Medjugorie for trip full of spiritual renewal. Medjugorie is where the vision of the Mother Mary has been seen around certain times of the day. They are also taking us in spirit, they wrote down all our petitions and took them with them, sealed in an envelope and they will carry them throughout the trip, praying for them. Then there is a special place where all written petitions can be left for the monks to pray over and then burned.

We are so thankful to be apart of their trip in spirit and we know how much this trip means to them and we pray that they have a safe trip.

CHEMO UPDATE: I just got a call from Christopher and he said Dr. Kirby told him that his red and white blood cell counts are in a good place and have not lowered at all; however we won't know about his CEA markers today. They won't run that test till what they call Cycle III (which for us is Chemo Round: VI) Other than that they said if he has not lost his hair yet, there is a good chance that he might not, but if he was to lose his hair, it would be right around now that it would happen. He also said this time it didn't hurt as much when they stuck him in his port!

Christopher also asked about his weight and slimming waist line; they said that he's been consistent in his weight and that they have no worries about at this time. And for those who haven't seen him in a while, he's on the verge of wearing 36's and he's down to a large for a shirt size! Don't worry, he's still over his BMI weighting in 195 lbs, we're just eating allot healthier these days.

Chemo: Round III

On Monday at 9:15am Christopher will go in for his third round of chemo. Ever since he has started chemo all his doctors and clinical nurses can talk about is how wonderful he is doing and well his body is handling the chemo.

This round of chemo seems a little more important to us than the others, for on this round of chemo the doctors might have some blood work that shows his CEA blood markers dropping and that is the overall goal! On his last visit the doctor told Christopher that his blood markers only went up 500 points in the one month before he started his treatments. While 500 points might seem like allot, we were told this number was a very small number and a very good number considering how much of the cancer is covering his liver.

So we're praying for those number to go down! And I will let everyone know what the doctors say on Monday after round 3!

The Little Things in Life

I've always heard the phrases, "don't sweat the small stuff" or "don't worry about the little things" and on Monday we all stood around the proverbial water cooler talking about our weekends. One guy was finishing up wedding plans since his wedding was only two weeks away, some one else moved apartments over the weekend and another person went to see this "rock'n band"; at that moment someone asked me what Christopher and I did. I answered "we relaxed all weekend."

Then for the rest of day I thought about that relaxing weekend. While it was relaxing, it was also made up of so many little things that make me smile from the inside out. While no one will care how many times Christopher and I had an Ethan sandwich (which by the way is when Christopher and I stand on either side of Ethan and give him smooches). Or the fact that Ethan released the tickle monster out of his cage (aka - daddy), and how peaceful he looked after he tuckered out on our walk, the roar of laughter we all had after a quick game of chase the baby and most all the dumb-founded look Christopher and I gave each other as we realized that "baby proof" actually meant "parent proof" when it came to installing our new baby gate. The entire weekend was made up of so many little, wonderful moments.

Life doesn't have to be about some great adventure, the greatest adventure in life is finding the things that make you happy and making your own memories.

We Are So Blessed

This morning on the way to work I was composing in my head the blog I was going to write about Christopher's second round of chemo and how FABULOUS he did! (Did I ever say how much he amazes me!) Then I was shocked to see our sneak peek to the photos that were taken this past weekend that Deanna, our photographer, put on her blog. So you all have to check them out!

They made me cry this morning, but not tears of sorrow or sadness - but of the over powering feel of joy and love. (Deanna they are absolutely beautiful and I can't wait to see the rest!) It made me think of all the things in the world that Christopher, Ethan and I are so blessed to have.

We are so blessed to have my parents and grandmother, who are there for us when ever we need them. They care for Christopher like there is no tomorrow and always call the day he goes in for chemo and the day he gets done to see how he is feeling - and of course to see if Ethan is walking all the time now. :}

We are blessed to have the friends we have and the love and support they give us. They are a constant reminder that your friends are angles brought to you by God.

We are blessed to have such wonderful Godparents for Ethan. Amber and Marcus love Ethan as if he was their own son and we no longer call them friends, but family.

We are blessed by God to have each other and wonderful little man who brings joy and laughter in our lives. We are blessed that God gives us the strength to handle this cancer and helps show us in everything (including Deanna's photos) that there is love and beauty everywhere and in everything.

Check out Ethan's sneak peek photos - click here!

Great Way to Start the Week

This past weekend has been marked in our book for months! This was the weekend that Ethan's Nanny (Godmother), Amber came for a visit. We were hoping that her husband Marcus, Ethan's God Father could come too, but we were told that he couldn't due to his flying schedule (he flys for Fed Ex). However, when I went to pick Amber up from the airport, while we were waiting on her bags to come out of baggage claim, I noticed out of the corner of my eye a guy that look a whole like Marcus. And right as I was about to say, "Hey, Am check out the guy arcoss the way," I realized, it WAS MARCUS! It was such a great surprise! Christopher and I couldn't have been any happier that the both of them got to come to Dallas.

And the weekend just got better! On Saturday we went out to Arbor Hills and had some photos taken with Ethan. I have to say, those photos will mean so much to all of us! We had pictures taken of Ethan and Christopher together and Ethan had on his "My dad is my hero" shirt and had I not been acting like a fool tring to make Ethan laugh, I think I might have cried.

Then after some photos it was on the house to make some New Orleans style Red Beans and Rice, mmmmmmm (need I say more?). Then some shoping for Amber to get some things for baby Abney (amber is due in October). We all just had a great time together. It was one of those weekends that you didn't want to end.

It was also a great start to the new week. Today Christopher went in for round 2 of his chemo. I have to say that Christopher amazes me everyday. He's not scared of chemo or what he has to go through. His determiation to beat this is unparallelled to anything that I have seen and you can't help but think - he's going to beat this!

Chemo : Round II

Round two of Chemo has been set for Monday or Tuesday (the oncologist is still firming up the time). I can't believe that two weeks have already gone by since his first treatment. The first round of chemo wasn't that bad, so I am hoping that this round's side effects will be just the same - very little. We'll keep everyone posted!

Ok, ok, so I couldn't help my self. When it comes to great times I have to take out the camera and snap a few. Here are some photos from Ethan's brithday party! How you all enjoy!

God is Watching Over Us

Yesterday Christopher had his first round of chemo and I have to say that God is watching over us! Christopher did so well!

He went in at 9:15am and met with his doctor. He was told that the cancer has not grown in size since the last time he had a CT scan about a month ago - a true blessing! And I have to say that God is listening to all the prayers that everyone is sending our way! After the meeting he started his chemo at 11am.

Christopher IM'd me while he was going through his treatments (they offer wireless Internet to their chemo patients) and he was in good spirits, the only thing he said hurt a little was when they put the IV's in his port because they sprayed his port with a chilly spray that tingled and bothered him a little - but hey that seemed to be the only thing that bothered him! He came home around 3pm and said he felt good, didn't feel ill to his stomach and he wanted a steak.

So when I got home with Ethan, my mom and dad, Christopher, Ethan and I went to Texas Land and Cattle for dinner as a reward for Christopher doing so well through his first round of chemo. (YEA! GO CHRISTOPHER!)

As far as the nausea, the doctor gave him some meds for that and any time he feels a little ill he takes one and then he's fine. He takes them about every 6 hours and has no real side effects with the exception of a little nurapathey (sp) which is where his hands and feet tingle around cold objects.

He is doing so well and I can't thank everyone enough for their thoughts and prayers!

Music Feeds the Soul

I find music fascinating, it amazes me how a small group of words can sum up an entire complex emotion that one person can relate to. I know everyone has heard at least one song in their lifetime and thought, you know I "love" that line in the song. Well I do that almost everyday and I have my list of lines that mean something to me in some way, form or fashion.

Today is Christopher's first Chemo day and on my way to work I was listening to radio and a song came on that had several lines in it that struck a cord. While the song is about a realationship that is going bad and the guy is trying to save what is left of it; there are lines that sumed up how I feel about this day, the cancer and the road that Christopher and I are traveling down at the moment.

Lines from Chris Daugherty's - It's Not Over

I was blown away, what could I say,
But it all seemed to make sense.

It was going to take away everything that I can't deal without

I try to see the good things in life,
Can we make this into something good.

Being strong, holding on, we can't let it bring us down.
My life with you means everything, so I won't give up that easily.

We'll blow it away. It's not over.

King Kong on Cocaine

This past Friday Ethan turned one, a huge milestone for him and for us as parents (it means we made it through one year without pulling our hair - just kidding). Besides getting the news about Christopher's cancer we have been blessed with a wonderful year. Ethan is on the verge on walking as his main mode of transportation and we can't wait for him to hit that marker in his life. To celebrate this wonderful occasion we had a little shin-dig for our "big" little man and at fist we were just going to have the family, but then after all that has happened we wanted to share our celebration with our friends and family.

We must have had about 24 people at the house and I really think everyone had a really great time. The birthday boy didn't quite make it through his party, he tuckered out towards the end and took a nap, but he had fun while he was awake!

After everyone had left and we were settling down for the evening, Christopher and I talked about everything that had happened that day, how big the twins had gotten, how cute it was to watch Ethan play with little miss Ashley, how glad we were that Tina and Rami could make it, just how darn cute Katie and Steve's little Claire was - then he turned to me and said, "I think the party was a hit."

At that moment I knew and could see it in his eyes, his son, his pride and joy turned one; we shared a wonderful day with our friends and family that we love so dearly; he couldn't ask for anything more - he was feeling like King Kong on cocaine - no one could bring him down. :}

Keep him in your prayers for tomorrow - 9:15am Chemo starts.