One Week From Today

In seven days, I will cross a milestone that I thought I would never cross; for during that place in my life, time seemed to stand still. Next Tuesday is the two year anniversary of Christopher's passing. For the most part I am ready to cross this point in my life and yet I have days where I'm grinding my heals into pavement.

Time is one of those things that keeps moving forward wether we want it to or not. Blessing and a curse, if you will. I will admit that year two was harder in ways than to year one. Milestones that I seem to fly through in year one where due to to still being numb from the whole thing and those emotions were expounded on in year two when that numbness wasn't there. But besides all the working through all the emotions that come with another year passing of something so life changing I think I can say, "I'm ok".

Life is still moving forward. Ethan is getting bigger and starts school next fall and I am completely besides myself that all this happens and Christopher is not here is see it. But I also know that he's here in other ways looking down. I'd like to think that some of those "tears from heaven" on the day of the race was him showering down how proud he was.

I've learned allot about life, myself and the things that make me happy. Being a single parent isn't the greatest thing in the world, but I like to think that with each day it gets a little easier for both Ethan and I. I even scheduled Ethan's 4 year photos the day after Christopher's death day - something I don't think I would have done a year ago.

As time moves forward - so do Ethan and I and I'm proud of the strides we made this year.