Ethan's New School

Recently, the dear sweet person who has been watching Ethan for almost the last two years, gave her notice that she would not be able to watch him any more. Her sister has been told she has cancer and will have surgery for it soon. With that being said, she and her family will be moving north to take care of her sister. My heart goes out to them during this time of the unknowing.

With that being said, I needed to find other care for Ethan. While I love the in-home approach, with Ethan's age I was thinking about moving him into some type of Pre-School. My neighbor Lauren who has her degree in early childhood development recommended Sunny Day's and I couldn't ask for anything better for this next step in Ethan's life. (Thank you so much Lauren for the suggestion!)

After a phone call and personal visit, I this place is going to do wonders for Ethan. It's an amazing place and I can't wait for Ethan to start. They only had one spot left in the 2 year old group (and while Ethan will be almost 3 when he starts, he can't move to the 3 year old group till he's potty trained completely). June 15th will be his first day of the Summer session and then in August he will start with the 3 year old group for the Fall session. They even have a speech therapist on staff who will work with him if they find that he needs a little help. This place just gives me the warm and fuzzes and I am so excited for him to start.

In the same vein, I'm also scared for him. He will lose the friends he made while at Janine's and everything is scary when it's new. I just hope he makes good friends while he's there.

For those interested Ethan will be learning about the basics and music and art (which is near and dear to my heart; so that was a plus) And the owner Mr Richard told me that by time he's at the end of his 3 year old class or the start of his 4 year old class - he will be able to read to me. That almost brought me to tears.

Here are some photos of the school!

This is the art room!


This will be Ethan's Room when he's 3.


The playground!


The computer room!


Every morning from 8:40 - 9am the kids have chapel service (this was a huge plus for me)!

Update: He Has a Name

For those of you who want to see. Christopher's marker. (the back side just has the last name on it)

He Has A Name

This weekend, like every weekend, I went out to visit Christopher. I go every weekend and sit and talk to Christopher; sometimes Ethan goes and sometimes he doesn't. All depends on his mood. I tell Christopher about the week we had, how much Ethan has grown, if anything exciting is going on with work and how I miss him.

This Saturday Ethan and I went out to see Christopher and I as I drove up I was over come with tears. Christopher had a name. His marker is up! It was the first headstone I ever designed (yes I designed it, the shape, the layout, even down the fonts) and hope it's the only one I will ever have to design for an extremely long time. It was so bitter sweet to see it. In one way I thought, "about freaking time" and in the other vein I thought, "wow, this makes it so much realer than before". Of course how it does make it any more real than the last 4 and half months I have no clue. But it did.

From time to time I still get cards from people letting me know that they are thinking of Ethan and I and it's still nice to know that there are people out there who care so much - even those people who only know us through this blog. My heart goes out to all of you all. Thank you for all the love and support you have shown me, Ethan and my family. It does make each day easier knowing you all are out there.

Where Does The Time Go?

It's been four months since Christopher passed away; five months since I knew it was going to happen. Where does this time go? Am I so consumed in single parenthood that time is flying by me with out any notice of the outside world? And yet if you look at my calendar it's never really left blank - play dates, meetings with clients, dinner with friends and list goes on.

Will I blink and Ethan will be going to college? Good grief I hope not! All though it is hard to think that in 4 months he'll be three; again, where does the time go? Maybe the same place the one sock goes when it's in the drier?

There are allot of milestones that I will hit this year, I've done five so far. I spent our dating anniversary, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and Valentines Day without him. The next will be his birthday. I always made him German Chocolate Cup Cakes (his mom used to make him a cake every year and when she passed away I took over the tradition). I think this year Ethan and I will have out own little birthday party and go visit Christopher and bring him a cup cake. I think he would like that. :}

One More Thing to Add to the Sitmulus Package

So this morning while making Ethan breakfast, I thought of one more thing I want to add to the "Don't get me started" Stimulus Package. A MONTHLY STIMULUS CHECK FOR SINGLE PARENTS WITH BOYS!

Ok, no joke. I figured it out and by the time Ethan hits his teen years... I am so doomed! He will eat three hundred times his weight in food. I can see it now. And where he puts it, only God knows that one (however, I'm suspicious of the big toe - it looks a little fatter than the other toes, might be a good storage place, but I'm still looking into it. I'll let everyone know when I find out).

This was my little man's breakfast for this morning! Gets up, drinks an 8oz sippy of OJ, then eats a yogurt (banana and strawberry), then asks for a sippy of milk, pulls a cereal bar out of the pantry - eats it, then asks for an apple - eats it and now he's looking to eat a banana. GEEZE! I can't even put away that much food in a day; more or less the combonation of foods he puts together!

I think it's safe to say, I'm so DOOMED. I'm taking donations if anyone wants to give to the "Bottomless Garbage Gut Fund".

MMM....Taste Like Peanut Butter

WARNING: Gross content ahead! You've been warned!

One of my favorite parts of the day is picking Ethan up from Day Care and finding out all what he learned or did that day. Well today Ethan did a first and I pray that it's now out of his system; never wants to do it again.

His sitter said at 5 o'clock she was changing everyone and asked Ethan if he needed to go sit on the potty. He said yes and then started to grab at his rear (which is a sign that he went and NOT on the potty - if you get my drift).

Then before she knew it, Ethan grabbed a handful of poop out of his diaper! And before she had time to react (the shock of it all); he.... he.... (yes I'm going there) he.... he... (getting there) he... he.. (almost there) he... he...(getting close to being there) he.. he PUT IT IN HIS MOUTH! (yes, went there).

EWWWWWWWW. The idea of it while I type grosses me out and makes me want to brush my tongue with a Brillo pad and four gallons of mouth wash.

So as soon as we got home - it was tooth brush time! EWWWWWW. ACK, HACK, GAG! I'm going to go brush my teeth now........

A 36 Hour Day?

So in reading through the stimulus package that that is in the Senate right now, I was thinking we could add on one more thing to all the other "shitakie" that's in there. A 36 hour day. Come on all you moms out there, know you want this. Heck how do we even get through our day with only 24 hours in it. Sleep, who said we need that, it's so overrated!

Here's my work week - you tell me how to make more time in there and I'll think about!

6am - 7am : get ready for work (there is no time to squeeze out of there - I have this down to a science and no going to work with out make-up is not an option, sorry)

7am : Wake up Ethan. He's like a teenager. "Ethan it's time to wake up, (little eyes look at me, he sits up and while I'm getting his clothes out - CRASH, back to sleep) Repeat this step 3 more times.

7:10am-7:40am : Diaper change, potty training, change clothes, make breakfast, pack up stuffed buddies (Bob, Larry and sometimes Nemo).

7:40 - 7:45am : Watch Ethan climb into the car and buckle him self in. (He's a very independent little man)

7:45 - 8am : Drive to Sitter

8:00 - 8:05 : Hugs, kisses, bumps - love my little guy!

8:05 - 8:30 : Drive into work and roll eyes at tollway drivers - just don't under stand the traffic in the morning.

8:30 - 5:30pm : Work my rear off (sorry can't cut any time out of here, the need of a paycheck and all)

5:30 - 6pm : Drive to pick up Ethan; more eye rolls at tollway drivers.

6 - 6:10pm : Getting the scoop from the sitter if Ethan was good and how long he took a nap - all the important stuff.

6:10 - 6:30ish : Drive home.

6:30 - 6:35: Watch Ethan un-buckle himself

6:35 - 6:45 : Let the dog out, check the mail, get Ethan a snack while I make dinner.

6:45 - 7pm : Warm up Ethan's dinner from what ever I prepped the night before

7 - 7:30pm : Dinner and conversation with my little man

7:30 - 7:45pm : Bath time for Ethan

7:45 - 8pm : Coloring time and/or reading time with Ethan (favorite book right now, the bellybutton book)

8pm : Bed time

8:05pm : Run upstairs to get Ethan something he's dropped

8:05 - 8:45: Clean the house, prep coffee pot, straighten things up, do a load of laundry if needed

8:45 - 9:30pm : Prep Ethan's Dinner for the next night, get anything together that he might need

9:30 - 10:30 (some times later) : Work on work related stuff

10:30 - 11pm: Run (working up to 5 miles by the time Ethan turns 3)

11 - 11:45: yoga

11:45 - 12:30am : shower

12:30 - 1am: flipping channels looking for something to watch

1am - 1:10am : reading from the Bible

2am : finally fall a sleep (repeat process at 6am)

Monday Dribble

For the longest time my iPod was not my friend. I could not handle listening to anything on it. Everything reminded me of Christopher or something we did together - it was painful to hit "skip", "skip", "skip", "skip" trying to find something that didn't remind me of him.

This morning on the way into work I pulled out my iPod and dusted it off. I thought, I'll give it a try. This was the first song that played. People have written me that this blog helps them as much as it helps me. Which I have to admit that was not the plan; but I am so thankful to help those people who need to know that they are not the only ones going through something like this or that they had the same feelings and that it's ok to feel that way.

Every Monday (ok more like every other Monday) I'll try to find a song that give me strength or makes me feel like for those of you going through the same thing can relate. Music is a great way of dealing with those feelings we keep to our hearts.

Enjoy. Clumsy by Our Lady Peace (lyrics provided below too)

Throw away the radio
Suitcase...Keeps you awake
Hide the telephone, the telephone
Telephone in case...You realize that
Sometimes your just not OK
You level out, level out, level out
It's not alright now...You need to understand
There's nothing strange out this
You need to know your friends...You need to know that

I'll be waving my hand
Watching you drown, watching you scream, quiet or loud
And maybe you should sleep
And maybe you just need...A friend
As clumsy as you've been there's no one laughing
You will be safe in here, you will be safe in here

Throw away this very old...shoe lace
Tripped you again
Try to shrug it off, shrug it off, shrug it off
Sow the skin now
You need to understand...there's nothing fake about this
You need to let me in...watching you and

I'll be waving my hand
Watching you drown, watching you scream, no one's around
And maybe you should sleep
And maybe you just need...A friend
As clumsy has you've been, there's no one laughing
You will be safe in here, you will be safe in...

I'll be wavin my hand...Watching you drown...
Watching you scream...Quiet or loud...
And maybe you should sleep
And maybe you just need...A friend
As clumsy as you've been, there's no one laughing
You will be safe in here, you will be safe in here...Yeah
You will be safe in here...in here...Yeah
in here...Yeah...in here...Yeah...in here...Yeah
in here...Yeah....in here...Yeah

Clumsy - Our Lady Peace