For Christopher on his Chemo Day

Today is round 14 of chemo for Christopher and on Chemo days he packs up his backpack with lunch, a few snacks, his computer and a movie to help pass the time. One of his past times is reading our blog; it's like a mini peep talk. So today, is for you my Christopher.

About a month ago I watched "As Good As It Gets". If you remember that's the movie with the famous line, "you make me want to be a better man." And it got me thinking - what compliment could I give you. So I started to make a list of what it would need to say, it would need to be sencere, heart felt and most of all I would want you to remember how much it meant to me. Well while several things came to mind; nothing could be summed up by in one phrase or sentance.

So here is what I got:

Christopher you're an inspiration to me and those around you. In the face of something scary and unknowing of what lies ahead you look at the situation with hope, life and a sense of humor. In the worst of times you have always made me laugh, because you know that laughter is the heart of joy and good endorphins.

I love how every night you come home after Ethan has gone to sleep and you "check on him". No matter how tired you might be, you climb the stairs and check on our baby boy.

Most of all, I love how you look at the good in life. No matter what the odds you always find a way to make "lemonade". It warms my heart when a day has gone all wrong - you are there to see the not only the good in things, but remind me that all things happen for a reason and some how turn it into a peep talk for hope for our future.

I guess what I am trying to say is, you inspire people to be stronger in their lives. You show them there is a different way to look at things - other than doom and gloom and I watch people in "aww" of this and all I can say to them is, "Yes, he's great man and I'm proud he's my husband."

Ethan and the Fat Man

Last night Christopher and I took Ethan to see Santa. We waited in line for about 2 hours and Ethan discovered all the neat and interesting things that the mall has to hold. The most interesting part of the evening was when it was Ethan's turn to sit on Santa's lap.

If our lives were a movie, this would be the voice over for what Ethan was thinking last night.

"So, I'm suppose to sit here in this stroller in these clothes and try to look nice till I see what Mom calls Santa. Who is this mythical man anyway... (little girl walks by) hey cutie, what's up. You here to see the Santa Man too?"

Then there comes some wanting of out of the stroller and Ethan and I take a little walk while Christopher holds our spot in line. After some walking around, we wait for Santa again, but this time we are by the TV's that are playing snips of the movie "Fred Claus".

"Cool, who's that guy dancing on the TV? What is that - it has bright shiny colors, looks like presents? Wait where are we going, why are we moving - I was watching that!"

Then, we turn the corner and Ethan gets his first peek at Santa.

"WOW! Mom. Dada. There is a fat man over there with a red suite on. Could it be, the mythical man - Santa? Does he really bring me gifts? He seems so friendly, maybe I should walk over to him? Mom, do you see him too, I'm pointing right at.. uh..hold on..wait fat man why are you picking me up?"

Ethan squirms around in Santa's lap.

"Ok old man, one photo - that's all you get and then I want my Mommy!"

Photog snaps the photo.

"Alright, I'm done Mom. I want down."

As we start to walk away Ethan waves bye bye to Santa and the only think I can think of is what he might be thinking of.

"Hey that wasn't so bad, I was a pro at that. (another little girl walks by) What's up, I just saw the fat man - it was cool."

CT Scan Results

On Monday Christopher went for another CT Scan; and again, prayers were being sent out and fingers were crossed for more shrinkage. And I am happy to say that there was even more shrinkage this time and there are no new growths! His doctors are so happy with the progress Christopher is having with his treatments.

I was hoping that they had his CEA markers measured for us again, but they didn't. So we'll have to wait a few more months for that one. So, as we roll into this holiday season, we are blessed to have our Christmas wish already come true - shrinkage baby!

PS - Next CT Scan should be around the end of February or early March! And the next round of chemo is next Monday.

Chemo: Round XII

Today is round 12, Christopher has been on chemo for the past 5 months and as his doctors say, "as long as chemo is doing its job; we're keeping you on it." That is the not-so-new news we got today.

Again, Christopher is doing AMAZING; some how, some way he managed to raise his platelet levels (when the odds should be after this long on treatments they should go down). His platelets are up and his red and white blood cell counts are staying at the same levels. Christopher does get a little tired more often than normal now if he doesn't get at least 8 to 9 hours of sleep; he's exhausted the next day. So we try to combat this with making sure we are all tucked into bed at a good hour.

Next Monday (December 10th), Christopher will have another CT scan and they will check his CEA markers again. The last time they took his markers he was at 633 - Christopher is hoping for the numbers to come back around 600 and I am hoping for 575 or less (what can I say - I'm an over achiever!).

Please still keep us in your thoughts and prayers. It is through your good thoughts and hopes that miracles are made.

The Up-Side of Cancer?

Cancer, as we all know it, is a cell that goes hay-wire and continues to multiply until it weakens the body into submission. With all the bad things that cancer brings to the table, one might think how is there an upside to something so horrible. Well there is.

The same way a cell multiplies, our emotions multiply when you have or know someone with cancer. You see the world through a different set of eyes. When I look at Christopher playing with Ethan - I can see the joy in his eyes and the warmth in his heart grow. And that makes everything we go through day-by-day even more special to us and our family.

As we roll into this holiday season and partake in holiday cheer; take a moment. Look at your friends, family and life in a different way - look at them through the upside of cancer.

Chemo: Round XI

Wow! That's all I can really say, wow! Christopher has just finished his 11th round of chemo and besides the side effects he already had he's going stronger than ever. Even Dr. Kirby was amazed that Christopher has gone this long and not really had any side effects or that he's not begging for a break from the treatments.

We were worried about this round of chemo due to his platelets being low last time, but again Christopher has amazed the docs and some how, some way - his platelets went up inside of down! Figure that one out. Dr. Kirby was so amazed by this feat that he even ordered blood work to be done on Christopher's CEA numbers to see where they were at (he said he couldn't wait another month to find out)! However, the test weren't done in time before Christopher left after his chemo (but Steve the nurse said he would call us and let us know what they were).

So as we prepare for the holidays filled with laughs and good times, we also go into this holiday with some more possible good news - maybe the cancer shrunk even more.

UPDATE: We just got the CEA results back and the markers have dropped 50pts to 633!

It's Not A Box

Recently I bought a book for Ethan entitled, "Not a box" by Antoinette Portis. It's a book about an imaginative little rabbit that doesn't have a cardboard box, but a race car, robot and space ship among other things. I love this book for several reasons; the main one being that it not only teaches children, but their parents that you don't need high dollar toys to entertain your self - all you need is a little creative thinking!

Ethan has such a box, um, I mean race car. Um, chair. No, wagon. No, shopping cart. Well maybe you could call it a fort? I think every child at some point has one; Ethan's is an old Pamper's box that he became attached to so we keep it in the living room for his playful delight! Christopher even went as far to draw wheels on it and put a big number "7" on the sides. Ethan pushes it around the house picking his toys and putting them into it; just to dump all the toys out and sit in it so he can watch his Baby Enstin movies. Or there are times where Ethan gets in and Christopher pushes up and down our main hall while all the while he makes, "veer-room" sounds. All in all, fun for the entire family!

I'm sure one day when Ethan is older he might shun the idea that he played in a box (or that his Mum took pictures of him in the box with just his daiper on!) But for now that little green "not a box" is endless entertainment for not only Ethan, but Christopher and I as we watch him grow and play.

Have You Been Inked?

Amber (Ethan's God Mother) and I have always kicked around the idea of doing something together; something fun that we enjoy. A few years ago Amber told me of an idea she had and I thought it was a wonderful - no one else was doing anything like it and I could see a need for people to want to have it! And so Socially Inked was born. You might ask, what is Socially Inked? Socially Inked provides custom invitation/greeting card service for social occations. We will not only design and print invitations for baby showers, baby annocments, birthday parties and holiday's, but we will also address them and mail them for you! And if already have your invitations or cards - for a small fee we will take the hassle out of addressing and mailing them for you!

Amber is working on the website to let people know more (Amber had her baby girl on October 5th, so the web site is just a splash page for now), but I wanted to offer to those whom might want to use this service 10% off their first order if they place their order before November 30th.

For more information email me at denise@sociallyinked.com.

Chemo: Round X

Another chemo day has come and gone and everything is still looking good so far. The only bad news we got today was that Christopher's platelets are getting a little low (a side effect of the chemo) Platelets help the blood clot so the only downside or risk to low platelets are: excessive bleeding if cut, fainting or feeling light-headed, hematoma (blood accumulating under the skin), infection (a slight risk any time the skin is broken) and/or multiple punctures to locate veins.

There is no medication that Christopher can take to make his platelets go up; his body just has to naturally do it on it's own. So we have to see what his body will do over these next two weeks, Christopher might have to postpone a round a chemo by one week if his levels drop too low, but the doctor is optimistic that his body will do alright for the next round of chemo.

What I would like everyone to keep in mind is that normally people don't stay on chemo this long (we're working on the 5th month of treatments), Christopher is special in the respect that his body is reacting really well to the chemo and the doctors don't want to give him break just yet (why stop a good thing when everything is working the way everyone would hope).

Prayers for Ms. Brenda and Her Family

This morning we got word that Ms. Brenda pasted away last night. I wrote a post back in September that her numbers were not were they needed to be and last night Our Lord gave her peace.

She gave us words of encouragement when we needed it the most; she will always be in our thoughts and prayers.

Chemo: Round IX

Yesterday was Christopher's 9th round of chemo and the Doctors all say the same thing - you're doing great, so lets keep trucking on. So it doesn't look like they are going to give him a break on the chemo front this December, but honestly, if chemo is working and Christopher can handle it, then we say "BRING IT ON"!

This weeks starts Christopher's 6th (the half way point) week of his training program and when I asked him last night what he would be learning this week, he turned and looked at me and grinned, "slicing meat". Wasn't sure why he was grinning - if was because he got to wield a sharp instrument or if it was more getting down and dirty with the food. Either way he did call me today to let me know that slicing meat was not as easy as it looked, but he was getting better at it (however there is some shredded chicken being served that should look more like a slice rather than a piece of meat that got caught up in a cock fight). :}

CT Scan Results

Last night was a hard night for both Christopher and I to fall a sleep. Our minds wandered back and forth with anticipation and expectation of what this next CT scan would bring us - would it be as great as last time or would we be shocked and dismayed? We talked about our feelings and both agreed than anything but growth of the cancer would make us happy.

At 4:20pm today Christopher called me and told me that he just got off the phone with the doctor's office; then there was a long pause. I think my exact words were, "Christopher spit it out. Just tell me." There was a another pause and then he said, "well...", another pause.

At that point I was ready to just jump through the phone and he said, "it shrank, not as much as the first time, but it did shrink again!" My first thought was - "oh thank you Lord," my next thought was, "Lord forgive me for the evil thoughts I am about to lay into my husband for making think the worst."

The last time Christopher had his CEA markers tested is was at 922 (down from the 3316 points he started at), today his markers were at 683! The doctor tells us that over all the cancer on his liver has shrunk 20% since he started chemo back in July and to our shock - we were told that in one nurses years of chemo and cancer work he has never seen a cancer shrink with this much vigor. And be honest I owe it all to you, for your prayers and good thoughts that fill our lives. Thank you all again!

So we keep moving on the chemo, healthy eating, prayer, support and the rainbow of herbal vitamins he takes daily. Every scan of shrinkage is a battle won - next scan in 2 months (right around the holidays). Keep us in your thoughts!

Chemo Round: VIII

Today is another day of chemo and it's hard to believe that this has become a part of our everyday lives. On chemo days we get up, I get ready for work and Christopher gets ready for chemo; he picks out a buttoned downed shirt to make getting the IV in easier, he packs a lunch made up of a sandwich, fruit and veggies, I leave for work and he leaves to take Ethan to the sitter, then on his way to chemo.

Where he goes to get his chemo is right down the street from where I work and the whole time I am at work I look up at the clock and think, 9:20 - he's giving blood right about now, 10:15 - he must be meeting with Dr. Kirby, 11:30 - right now I'm sure they are hooking him up to his IV and should be call me in a few, 12pm - I get my phone call and all is right with the world again. The first words out of my mouth are always, "what did Dr. Kirby say", and it's always depressing though to hear - "same thing as last time" or "nothing really new".

Right now everyone is on pins and needles waiting for the CT scan. I think since there was so much shrinkage the first time it has made everyone nervous, "can it shrink that much again?" So all we can do is wait and see. Only a week to go till the scan and a day or two after to get the results. Please keep us in your prayers.

Now for the new training Christopher will be doing this week at his job - he gets to learn pantry and the to go stations. Now one might ask what all this entails, well I have no clue! We'll just leave that one to the experts. :}

Welcome Baby Abney

Yesterday Christopher and I got the call we had been waiting for; baby Abney came into the world. Amber and Marcus had a bouncing baby girl, Addison Lane Abney was born around 6pm Alaska time and she weighed 8lbs 8oz and was 20.25 inches long. Both baby and Mom are doing well and Daddy is on the verge of cartwheels (or at least that's how he sounded on the phone).

Welcome Addison, you're mummy and daddy are so excited to have you in their arms.

Since You Asked...

I've been asked by several people how Christopher's new job is going and how he is liking it. So I thought that I might add how he is doing to the blog. Right now he is going through a 12 week training program (it was suppose to be nine, but they just changed how the program is set up and Christopher got on the 12 week program). He works from 9am-8pm everyday except for Saturdays when he has a class room out in Irving and he works from noon till close (10:30pm).

The first week he learned the Spring Creek BBQ way of busing a table (don't ask, Christopher explained it to me and I can't even remember it).

Week two he learned how to make the coveted Spring Creek BBQ bread. And the way people act towards that bread you would think they had crack in them, but they don't - Christopher made them all week and he says they're crack free; just really good! ;}

This week Christopher is learning the buttons on the POS system. (Don't ask me about that one either - there are some things better left to the experts).

Christopher took his first test and passed with flying colors (but I knew he would)!

This Tuesday is chemo day and we are two weeks away from his CT scan that we are all waiting for. So check back for those updates too!

Chemo: Round VII

I'm a little behind on the blogging, work has picked up with clients trying to spend the rest of their budgets for the holiday season. Christopher had his seventh round of chemo on Tuesday (I had it marked down for Monday, but they fooled me and changed dates on me). Dr. Kirby said Christopher had great coloring (sometimes people look pale and weak the longer they are on chemo) and that he also looked well rested.

Christopher also told the doctor about his new job and what it would be entailing and Dr. Kirby told him "more power to you." My personal thoughts are that every time Christopher goes in Dr. Kirby expects Christopher to have hit rock bottom, that the chemo will catch up to him at some point - and yet Christopher amazes him every time. (thank you everyone for your prayers)

Everyone keep those prayers up - October 16th Dr. Kirby has scheduled another CT scan to see how the shrinkage is going. We are hoping for some more good news! Christopher has said these past few days that he has had allot more energy - I don't know if it is from the excitement over his new job or that the cancer is leaving his body and helping him feel better!

Speaking of his new job, Christopher had his first week at it and he loves it so far. The people are great and they are very understanding of his situation. Christopher has met two people at this company who both fought and beat some form of cancer, a true inspiration for him. And I can't help but this that this job path had been played out for him from the get go - God works in wonderful ways.

Sorry this posting is so random and all over the place - I need to get back to work, but I wanted to let everyone know that chemo went well this week!

Ethan's Running with the Bull (*hum* Longhorns)

This past weekend Christopher and I took Ethan out to Seei Circle, and for those of you that don't live in Frisco - it's a little park that celebrates the cattle drives that went through our fair city. There are rather large Longhorn statues, Cowboys on horses and a little path that meanders in one great big loop around it all. We thought Ethan would enjoy the Longhorn...umm, not really. As you can see, Ethan was a little more than hesitant. But once "Daddy pet the longhorn statue" - it was a cake walk!


Ethan sat down for a few seconds only to want to take shoes off, and then he was off and Running with the Bulls - *umm*, sorry the longhorns.


The Longhorn statues are so life like and we really had fun out there chasing Ethan around and playing.





So a while back I was tagged and I now I have to tell you eight things about me. Well it was hard coming up with eight things, but this is what I got!

• I don't make first impression, I think they steer you wrong 80% of the time. You never know when someone is having an off day.
• I love and can't get enough of Harry Potter - yes I have all the books and movies.
• Tinkerbell and Audre Hepburn are my idols.
• I was once told by my economics teacher in high school that I was an economics genius - I went into art instead (guess that's what you get when your the product of two CPAs - an economically sound artist) :}
• I'm a lefty, but I paint with my right hand - (sorry, it was hard coming up with eight things)
• At the end of every night, Christopher and I say a prayer and thank God for everyone in our lives.
• I think every thing in life can be laughed at, when the time is right.
• I personally feel that tis better to bit the tongue than to muster up the words, "I'm sorry".

This coming Monday is Chemo day. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Christopher's New Gig

Back in April Christopher left his job at the Bakery; while he enjoyed working there, it was time for him to move on. He went to work with a friend at his Internet based company as a whole sale rep. However, the company wasn't doing so well and they told Christopher about 2 months ago that they would not be able to keep paying him. So the job hunt was on again.

Christopher and I talked in depth about what he wanted to do, the bakery left a bad taste in his mouth, but he was ready to get back into the game! He interviewed only at 3 places and as they always say - third times a charm! Christopher now works for a company named Spring Creek Barbecue as one of their managers. He will have about nine weeks of training to go through and he's excited about the new challenge this job will bring him.

From the get-go Christopher and I both felt like this was the path that we were being lead on. The guy that Christopher interviewed with had just fought and beat Throat Cancer and we both thought we needed to look at this company more closely. It's a medium size company with allot of growth potential (they would like to open 10 new stores this year) and I couldn't be happier for Christopher.

I know allot of people have been asking, "How is he going to handle it?" Well in the words of Christopher, "There is nothing to handle - you just do it."

Ethan the Engineer

So the cat is out of the bag, Christopher starts his new job on Monday...well sorta on Monday. He starts his new job, but Monday and Tuesday are his two days off, so he really doesn't go in for his first day until Wednesday. So this week Christopher had a mini vacation in which he did some things around the house and spent some time with Ethan.

On Friday, Christopher called me and let me know that the house was hit by a tornado named Ethan, I laughed and thought "oh what am I in for when I get home". Then Christopher asked how much longer till I got home, my first thought was - he needs a break, Ethan was a handful today. Until I was informed that our little munchkin played engineer and created a mini version the Empire State Building by stacking several blocks, one on top of each other, and I had to hurry home to see it before King Kong Ethan climbed the tower and brought it down to a crashing masterpiece of destruction.

I laughed and told Christopher I was just a few minutes away and that I couldn't wait to see this great feat! Low and behold, this was a marvel of great ingenuity. Ethan stacked eleven blocks one on top of each other - I snapped a photo right before he brought the wrecking ball through and destroyed his little Empire State Building. :}

On another note, I've been tagged - which means I'm suppose to write eight things about me that I don't think other people know. Hmmm....I'm going to have to think about this one (I don't think I can even think of eight things to say, but check back in - I'll be working on it.

Chemo: Round VI

Yesterday, Christopher went in for his sixth round of chemo and all I can say is how he amazes me. He never complains that he has to go or grumbles about how long he has to sit there - he just goes, takes his treatments and calls me to let me know how everything went.

Dr. Kirby told him that everything is looking great so far, his numbers are normal for his situation and there are no worries. The doctor also told him that they want to see how much shrinkage he has in the next two months. There is always a chance that the cancer gets tired of shrinking and figures out a way to fight the chemo back.

While we won a little hurtle with this first round of shrinkage, the docs won't be throwing a party till they see shrinkage again. And as long as Christopher's body is handling the chemo so well, they are going to keep him on it as long as they can. He might get a break around Christmas, but we should see sometime around Thanksgiving if there is more shrinkage!

Honk, Honk...

Today, over 550 TGI Friday's stores will be opening boxes of their new menu and getting them ready for the start of business. Now I know what you are thinking, "Uh, and why are you excited about this - Friday's has not started serving gumbo or something?"

No TGI Friday's is not serving gumbo (heaven help them if they did), today the menu they use is mine. Designed from the cover to the back page, twelve pages in all, my creation. Almost a year in the making, my menu won out over 50 other menus, including those from some top New York and LA design firms. Now while the original concept was for the menu to look like a record album in shape and size, some things did need tweaking to make it restaurant ready. This is a huge step for me as a designer and for the small ad agency I work for. What can I say, I have to toot my own horn!

I took a stroll down memory lane and pulled out my photos from college. Had anyone told me over 10 years ago, "hey d, like in ten years or so, your going to do this huge project for some place called Friday's." I think I might have laughed and told them they were sniffing too much developer or spray mount and to possibly get a life.

More so it got me thinking have I changed as a designer/person or am I still the same "d" from ten years ago. And while Christopher likes to remind me, the world is ever changing therefore we on some level must change with it. I couldn't help but think how I have changed, but even though I've changed slightly, there are still some things drawn and tied to my core:

I still wear my sunglasses on top my head (otherwise I would lose them).
I'm still the quite one that sits waiting observing and taking in everything.
I still love cracking the music up while I work.
I still love my other fine arts that makes me a good designer; photography, painting and drawing.
I still love to draw the same thing over and over again (except in school it was vases - now it's pears).
I'm still the person people run to when they need to let off steam.
I still love getting a great idea in the car and scrambling for a scrape of paper to jot it down on (however this was easier in school, I always had my back pack).

So today or any time you're in a Friday's; you can look at the menu and say, "Hey, I know the person who did this!"

Live Strong for Ms. Brenda

When Christopher was in the hospital my mom let me talk to one of her clients who was battling with cancer. Her words of advice were, "don't let this get to you". Such a powerful statement. She sent some words of encouragement to Christopher in a card and he proudly displayed it on our mantle during the time of his recovery.

Today I got an email from my mother about Ms. Brenda's health:

"Just an fyi . . . just talked with Neil, her husband, and learned that Brenda is home, in a hospital bed in the living room.

She weighs 96 lbs and can't keep anything down. Currently, they are feeding her iv fluids.

The last time I saw her; she had indicated her numbers weren't good and the doctor found some spots on her stomach and intestines. She was so thin at that time and the lack of 'meat on her bones' was an impediment to treatment."

Ms. Brenda and her family needs our thoughts and prayers right now. If you would like to send her a card or just some words of encouragement, just let me know and I will send you her address.

Living Strong Means: Taking Pride in the Small Steps in Life

Deanna, our talented photographer, whom shot Ethan's one year photos emailed me the other day letting me know that our photos where ready. As I was putting some of them up in frames I remembered back to an email Deanne wrote to me about how she was "giggling" over the faces that Christopher and Ethan made, because they are the exact same! And as I sat there going threw them I had to giggle to my self too (I even pulled out some photos that I had taken of them and yep, they do, they have the same expression on their face - "their eyebrows operate in the same manor").

It made me think of how our children are small versions of our selves reflected back to us through God. If we were to sit and look at our children deeply, we would learn so much about our selves. I watched Ethan today pick up his sandals, walk over to me and plopped down into my lap (that's code for "Mummy, I would like my shoes on please.") While putting them on I could see his little grin grow and once I was done, he stood up and trotted all around the house as if he was trying to do his best Frankenstein impression. He was so proud of the fact that he had his shoes on and he commanded them to do his bidding - *stomp, stomp, stomp*. It made me think, when was the last time any of us took pride in the small steps we take in life.

One day at work I wasn't having the greatest of days, I was running late, press checks all day long, driving back and forth and back again. At the end of the day my feet were killing me from my 3" heels (yea don't ask, I'll never wear those to work again) and as I stepped off the elevator the gentleman in there with me held the doors open and said, "have a good afternoon, a great day and God bless you". I smiled and said, "thank you" and wished him the same. However, as I walked back to the office, suddenly my day was all better. I could have cared less that I drove over 150 miles that day, ran from press house to press house, playing good cop bad cop with printers - someone took time out of their day to wish me a good day. Then it dawned on me; when was the last time I said "hi" to a total stranger and it help them make their day, to make them as happy as Ethan was with his shoes on trotting around the house?

So I ask those who read Living Strong. Today living strong means reaching out to others to help them smile. Reach out to those strangers around you and take pride in the small steps we take in life. :}

Long Live New Orleans

Two years ago I got a phone call from my father at about 6:30am, "sweetheart, the levees broke". I think I responded with, "ok, thanks for letting me know" and then five minutes later it hit me. Broken levee equals my Gran's house is completely underwater. Hurricane Katrina hit home and I lived in Dallas...

I went through a ton emotions until that October when Christopher and I traveled down to New Orleans to help get what we could out of her house. Seeing her house made everything a little more real and hurt allot more. The house that I spent hours sitting at the dinning room table listening to stories of the Great Depression, World War II and how my grandfather built the house they lived in by hand, was just a beaten and battered shell of what it used to be. Furniture was tossed around as if it was doll house props thrown into place by an angry child. Trees were bent like little toothpicks; while others were gracefully plucked from the ground and tossed across streets for all the world the see their elaborate root system that once gave them life. I had never seen the world so gray, the lack of color in everything was astonishing.

And while that chapter in our lives is coming to a close with family moved out of the city and property sold off, I can look back and say that everything happens for a reason. My grandmother is alive and well in her new home in Houston - only a four hour drive from us where she gets to see Ethan more than she would had she stayed in New Orleans. My cousin moved to Dallas for a better job and now lives a stones throw from Christopher and I , and we worked as a family to help each one of us get through something we never thought we would have to. Our family is built on strength, love and determination and one day I hope Ethan will know the strength family and friends can give you. Ethan got his name from Hurricane Katrina. The name Ethan means "strong leader" and his middle name is Webster, my grandmother's maiden name. She's a strong force in the world that at the age of 86 she had to start over with a new home, new city and new surroundings. Yet she did it. With the help of her children, grandchildren and her dog Tinker, she did it.

Christopher and I pray for those people who are still trying to rebuild their lives in the cities brought down by Katrina. And we pray that one day we can take Ethan to the city where I was born and show him a great and beautiful city I used to call my second home. Long Live New Orleans!

Chemo: Round V

Today is round five in Christopher's chemo treatments and Dr. Kirby was very pleased with how the chemo is progressing. He said Christopher has signigifcant shrinkage of the cancer on his liver. There are three masses that they are keeping their eye on and using as their measuring sticks. They vary in size, the largest being roughly 8cm, and all three have shrunk about 1cm or more (but no more than 1.5cm). I was trying to figure out in my head what percent of shrinkage that was and if I had to make an educated guess, I would say between 5-10%.

Christopher will be on chemo for a few more months before he gets a break since everything is looking good. In roughly two more months Christopher will have another scan to see how much more shrinkage there is and I hope and pray that there is even more!

I wish I could throw out some number to show how much his CEA blood markers have dropped, but the lab is backed up and we don't have that much information yet. All we do know as of right now is that the Doctor is VERY PLEASED with his progress and told him to keep up the good work.

Thank you all for keeping us in your prayers and as soon as I know anything more, I'll pass it along!

CHEMO UPDATE: We got the CEA markers back (CEA test for tumor markers that are molecules occurring in blood or tissue that are associated with cancer and whose measurement or identification is useful in patient diagnosis or clinical management.)! Before chemo (july 3, 2007) his markers were at 3316 (up 500pt from when he was in the hospital), and as of today... 922. Yep 922, over a 70% drop. In the words of Christopher's doctor, "that's damn good!"

Drum Roll Please...

While I want to write a really long and sappy blog today, I have allot on my plate at work today. But can I have a drum roll please.... we got the results from Christopher's scan he took yesterday... the cancer is SHRINKING! Chemo is doing what it needs to do!

I'll try to write more details later, but I wanted to let everyone know!

Living Strong Means Living Strong for Those Around You

Yesterday I got an email from the Lance Armstrong Foundation entitled, "Living Strong Means Challenging Your Self" and at that time I thought what an amazing statement. So on the way home from work last night was thinking in my head what my next blog would be about and thought the title will be "Living Strong Means: Enjoying Life," and I would talk about our proofing session that we were going to do that night, how great the photos looked, how we enjoy each moment in life, etc.

However, by the end of the night my blog changed. A while back Deanna told me about a family who was also going through the journey of having a loved one with cancer. The Freeman's are a very strong family that need our prayers right now. Mr. Freeman is battling with cancer and the family has had some run of bad luck and they need our prayers and good thoughts channeled there way. Cindy Freeman and I have exchanged emails here and there and I am sure they would love to know that there are some people out there thinking of them.

You can read more about the Freeman's on Deanna's Blog - click here to read about The Freemans.

Today lets say a prayer for the Freeman family; today let's live strong for those around us; today lets live strong for the Freeman's.

Chemo: Round IV

Tuesday was round four of Christopher's chemo treatments and I have to say that even with a crazy chemo day and our AC at home going out (which is now fixed), he has the presence of mind to look at the positive in all this.

So let me start with his day at chemo. Normally Christopher shows up, gives blood, sees the doctor and then starts chemo - this whole process before the chemo starts is roughly 20 minutes tops. Yesterday it took almost two hours to get to the chemo part of the day. He said a lady out in the parking lot passed out after her treatments and they ended up bringing her in, giving her oxygen and calling 911. Christopher said someone told him that they thought she might be having a heart attack and that she was in her 60's. (The heat here is getting too all of us.)

After getting the poor woman situated they called him back to start his chemo, where he was sat next to a gentleman that snored so loud the medical staff had to wake him because he was disturbing everyone else getting chemo. Christopher said he did entertain the idea of unplugging his machine, walking over to the guy, nugging him and saying, "Hey, rollover." But he thought the nursing had it under control.

When I got home with Ethan, Ethan ran over to Christopher and gave his legs a hug. It was the greatest thing I ever saw and I could see Christopher grinning from ear to ear. And after a quick game of chase and giggle monster around the house it was dinner time. As we all sat around the dinner table (Ethan in his high chair), Christopher said this is "great" and I didn't have to ask what he meant. I knew what he was feeling because I was thinking the same thing, it was great to sit at our kitchen table and eat as a family and share in what happened over the course of one day together.

Here is the news on the Doctor's front: Christopher's red blood cell counts are up (which means the iron pill he's taking is working - wooo hoooo!) his white blood cell counts are down, but they are still in the normal range for him. Dr. Kirby says this is due to the chemo and he's not worried about it at this moment in time. Christopher was also told that his liver is not enlarge anymore. Since the end of May his liver has been rather enlarged and we were told this was due to the cancer. Now with his liver being normal size does this mean that the cancer is shrinking - we don't know and won't know that answer until the 20th when he gets his CT scan.

We are praying that soon we will have other news than blood cell counts to share with everyone and as soon as we know - we'll post it for everyone! Keep us in your prayers.

A Great Start to Our Weekend

This has been one world wind of a week for Christopher and I. My work is picking up with several new projects on the horizon and Christopher is scheduling all of his CT scans and blood work for the month of August. And to top it all off, Ethan has gotten three molars to break through this week (and yes, he's let us know all about them) - this makes a total of 11 teeth for him!

As part of our chemo routine we try to do something fun the weekend before a treatment and this weekend was perfect, we celebrated with our neighbor's, their little girl's birthday. Ashley tuned the big number one and we couldn't be happier for her as she crosses this huge milestone in her life. Christopher and I like to joke to our selves that she's Ethan's girlfriend only because at his party, he followed her around every where - and I even think he tried to give her his toys (yep, I think he's smitten with her; however, as you can see from the photos - WHO WOULDN'T BE!) This was the first time Ethan was around more than the six children he plays with at day care and while he loved running around Marc & Lauren's house exploring his new surroundings and friends; he tuckered out rather quickly from all the excitement.

I have to share with you all something rather touching. After we showed up, Ashley's mummy, Lauren, introduced us to her Mom and the first words out of her mouth were, "Give me hug!" She was so full of love and life and shared with us how she prays for us and asks Lauren all the time how we are doing. I know I must have stood there with my mouth open and nothing coming out, it was so amazing to see someone who only knows us by a story and a possible finger point, "they live there on the corner," could care so much about us and the journey we are on.

I know I go on about how amazing people are, but you all are. Everyone we know touches us in so many different ways that I could go on FOREVER about it. We are so blessed to have our friends, neighbors and those that extend their hearts out to us in our lives. Thank you everyone from the bottom of our hearts.

The situation reminded me of a few lines in Nickleback's If Everyone Cared:
And as we lie beneath the stars
We realize how small we are
If they could love like you and me
Imagine what the world could be
Amen, I'm alive

And of course I couldn't keep the camera at home, here are some of the photos from Ashley's par'ta!

Her very own number one cake!



The birthday girl showing everyone how eating cake should be done!


Ethan and Reese enjoying the fun (look ma' it's in color! - sorry inside joke between me and my mother).


Ashley getting some birthday girl reading time from the boys!


And this little guy was too cute not to snap a few of him!


The birthday girl!

The Request We Hold in Our Hearts

A good friend wrote to me in an email, "I trust that God knows the requests we hold in our hearts," and it has stuck with me this weekend.

The person who wrote this is also leaving today with her husband for Medjugorie for trip full of spiritual renewal. Medjugorie is where the vision of the Mother Mary has been seen around certain times of the day. They are also taking us in spirit, they wrote down all our petitions and took them with them, sealed in an envelope and they will carry them throughout the trip, praying for them. Then there is a special place where all written petitions can be left for the monks to pray over and then burned.

We are so thankful to be apart of their trip in spirit and we know how much this trip means to them and we pray that they have a safe trip.

CHEMO UPDATE: I just got a call from Christopher and he said Dr. Kirby told him that his red and white blood cell counts are in a good place and have not lowered at all; however we won't know about his CEA markers today. They won't run that test till what they call Cycle III (which for us is Chemo Round: VI) Other than that they said if he has not lost his hair yet, there is a good chance that he might not, but if he was to lose his hair, it would be right around now that it would happen. He also said this time it didn't hurt as much when they stuck him in his port!

Christopher also asked about his weight and slimming waist line; they said that he's been consistent in his weight and that they have no worries about at this time. And for those who haven't seen him in a while, he's on the verge of wearing 36's and he's down to a large for a shirt size! Don't worry, he's still over his BMI weighting in 195 lbs, we're just eating allot healthier these days.

Chemo: Round III

On Monday at 9:15am Christopher will go in for his third round of chemo. Ever since he has started chemo all his doctors and clinical nurses can talk about is how wonderful he is doing and well his body is handling the chemo.

This round of chemo seems a little more important to us than the others, for on this round of chemo the doctors might have some blood work that shows his CEA blood markers dropping and that is the overall goal! On his last visit the doctor told Christopher that his blood markers only went up 500 points in the one month before he started his treatments. While 500 points might seem like allot, we were told this number was a very small number and a very good number considering how much of the cancer is covering his liver.

So we're praying for those number to go down! And I will let everyone know what the doctors say on Monday after round 3!

The Little Things in Life

I've always heard the phrases, "don't sweat the small stuff" or "don't worry about the little things" and on Monday we all stood around the proverbial water cooler talking about our weekends. One guy was finishing up wedding plans since his wedding was only two weeks away, some one else moved apartments over the weekend and another person went to see this "rock'n band"; at that moment someone asked me what Christopher and I did. I answered "we relaxed all weekend."

Then for the rest of day I thought about that relaxing weekend. While it was relaxing, it was also made up of so many little things that make me smile from the inside out. While no one will care how many times Christopher and I had an Ethan sandwich (which by the way is when Christopher and I stand on either side of Ethan and give him smooches). Or the fact that Ethan released the tickle monster out of his cage (aka - daddy), and how peaceful he looked after he tuckered out on our walk, the roar of laughter we all had after a quick game of chase the baby and most all the dumb-founded look Christopher and I gave each other as we realized that "baby proof" actually meant "parent proof" when it came to installing our new baby gate. The entire weekend was made up of so many little, wonderful moments.

Life doesn't have to be about some great adventure, the greatest adventure in life is finding the things that make you happy and making your own memories.

We Are So Blessed

This morning on the way to work I was composing in my head the blog I was going to write about Christopher's second round of chemo and how FABULOUS he did! (Did I ever say how much he amazes me!) Then I was shocked to see our sneak peek to the photos that were taken this past weekend that Deanna, our photographer, put on her blog. So you all have to check them out!

They made me cry this morning, but not tears of sorrow or sadness - but of the over powering feel of joy and love. (Deanna they are absolutely beautiful and I can't wait to see the rest!) It made me think of all the things in the world that Christopher, Ethan and I are so blessed to have.

We are so blessed to have my parents and grandmother, who are there for us when ever we need them. They care for Christopher like there is no tomorrow and always call the day he goes in for chemo and the day he gets done to see how he is feeling - and of course to see if Ethan is walking all the time now. :}

We are blessed to have the friends we have and the love and support they give us. They are a constant reminder that your friends are angles brought to you by God.

We are blessed to have such wonderful Godparents for Ethan. Amber and Marcus love Ethan as if he was their own son and we no longer call them friends, but family.

We are blessed by God to have each other and wonderful little man who brings joy and laughter in our lives. We are blessed that God gives us the strength to handle this cancer and helps show us in everything (including Deanna's photos) that there is love and beauty everywhere and in everything.

Check out Ethan's sneak peek photos - click here!

Great Way to Start the Week

This past weekend has been marked in our book for months! This was the weekend that Ethan's Nanny (Godmother), Amber came for a visit. We were hoping that her husband Marcus, Ethan's God Father could come too, but we were told that he couldn't due to his flying schedule (he flys for Fed Ex). However, when I went to pick Amber up from the airport, while we were waiting on her bags to come out of baggage claim, I noticed out of the corner of my eye a guy that look a whole like Marcus. And right as I was about to say, "Hey, Am check out the guy arcoss the way," I realized, it WAS MARCUS! It was such a great surprise! Christopher and I couldn't have been any happier that the both of them got to come to Dallas.

And the weekend just got better! On Saturday we went out to Arbor Hills and had some photos taken with Ethan. I have to say, those photos will mean so much to all of us! We had pictures taken of Ethan and Christopher together and Ethan had on his "My dad is my hero" shirt and had I not been acting like a fool tring to make Ethan laugh, I think I might have cried.

Then after some photos it was on the house to make some New Orleans style Red Beans and Rice, mmmmmmm (need I say more?). Then some shoping for Amber to get some things for baby Abney (amber is due in October). We all just had a great time together. It was one of those weekends that you didn't want to end.

It was also a great start to the new week. Today Christopher went in for round 2 of his chemo. I have to say that Christopher amazes me everyday. He's not scared of chemo or what he has to go through. His determiation to beat this is unparallelled to anything that I have seen and you can't help but think - he's going to beat this!

Chemo : Round II

Round two of Chemo has been set for Monday or Tuesday (the oncologist is still firming up the time). I can't believe that two weeks have already gone by since his first treatment. The first round of chemo wasn't that bad, so I am hoping that this round's side effects will be just the same - very little. We'll keep everyone posted!

Ok, ok, so I couldn't help my self. When it comes to great times I have to take out the camera and snap a few. Here are some photos from Ethan's brithday party! How you all enjoy!

God is Watching Over Us

Yesterday Christopher had his first round of chemo and I have to say that God is watching over us! Christopher did so well!

He went in at 9:15am and met with his doctor. He was told that the cancer has not grown in size since the last time he had a CT scan about a month ago - a true blessing! And I have to say that God is listening to all the prayers that everyone is sending our way! After the meeting he started his chemo at 11am.

Christopher IM'd me while he was going through his treatments (they offer wireless Internet to their chemo patients) and he was in good spirits, the only thing he said hurt a little was when they put the IV's in his port because they sprayed his port with a chilly spray that tingled and bothered him a little - but hey that seemed to be the only thing that bothered him! He came home around 3pm and said he felt good, didn't feel ill to his stomach and he wanted a steak.

So when I got home with Ethan, my mom and dad, Christopher, Ethan and I went to Texas Land and Cattle for dinner as a reward for Christopher doing so well through his first round of chemo. (YEA! GO CHRISTOPHER!)

As far as the nausea, the doctor gave him some meds for that and any time he feels a little ill he takes one and then he's fine. He takes them about every 6 hours and has no real side effects with the exception of a little nurapathey (sp) which is where his hands and feet tingle around cold objects.

He is doing so well and I can't thank everyone enough for their thoughts and prayers!

Music Feeds the Soul

I find music fascinating, it amazes me how a small group of words can sum up an entire complex emotion that one person can relate to. I know everyone has heard at least one song in their lifetime and thought, you know I "love" that line in the song. Well I do that almost everyday and I have my list of lines that mean something to me in some way, form or fashion.

Today is Christopher's first Chemo day and on my way to work I was listening to radio and a song came on that had several lines in it that struck a cord. While the song is about a realationship that is going bad and the guy is trying to save what is left of it; there are lines that sumed up how I feel about this day, the cancer and the road that Christopher and I are traveling down at the moment.

Lines from Chris Daugherty's - It's Not Over

I was blown away, what could I say,
But it all seemed to make sense.

It was going to take away everything that I can't deal without

I try to see the good things in life,
Can we make this into something good.

Being strong, holding on, we can't let it bring us down.
My life with you means everything, so I won't give up that easily.

We'll blow it away. It's not over.

King Kong on Cocaine

This past Friday Ethan turned one, a huge milestone for him and for us as parents (it means we made it through one year without pulling our hair - just kidding). Besides getting the news about Christopher's cancer we have been blessed with a wonderful year. Ethan is on the verge on walking as his main mode of transportation and we can't wait for him to hit that marker in his life. To celebrate this wonderful occasion we had a little shin-dig for our "big" little man and at fist we were just going to have the family, but then after all that has happened we wanted to share our celebration with our friends and family.

We must have had about 24 people at the house and I really think everyone had a really great time. The birthday boy didn't quite make it through his party, he tuckered out towards the end and took a nap, but he had fun while he was awake!

After everyone had left and we were settling down for the evening, Christopher and I talked about everything that had happened that day, how big the twins had gotten, how cute it was to watch Ethan play with little miss Ashley, how glad we were that Tina and Rami could make it, just how darn cute Katie and Steve's little Claire was - then he turned to me and said, "I think the party was a hit."

At that moment I knew and could see it in his eyes, his son, his pride and joy turned one; we shared a wonderful day with our friends and family that we love so dearly; he couldn't ask for anything more - he was feeling like King Kong on cocaine - no one could bring him down. :}

Keep him in your prayers for tomorrow - 9:15am Chemo starts.

Chemo Day is Set

We have been told that his first day of Chemo will be Tuesday, July 2nd at 9:15 and will take roughly 6 hours. Everyone, please keep us in your thoughts and prayers that day.

Today is Good Day

This week will be a very busy week for Christopher. Today he has an appointment with his Oncologist to sign his paper work for his Chemo treatment. Tomorrow he goes back for a CT scan and Thursday he goes to visit his surgeon to make sure that his colon is healing the way it should be.

I have to say today a huge smile came over my face. We were getting ready for work this morning and I walked into the bathroom to tell Christopher that I was going to wake up our little muchkin to get him ready and Christopher looked at me and asked for a hug. Then he said, "You know what, today is a good day! I feel really good today." I think I smiled from the inside out. This is the first time he has said, "he is having a good day" and I felt like he was saying it because it was true and not to make me feel better.

Port Day

On Friday, Christopher got his port in. We dropped Ethan off at the sitters around 6:30am and headed up to Plano Medical Center to make the 7am check in time. There was an odd silence in the car on the way up to the hospital and I wasn't sure if was from lack of sleep or the thought of "we're doing this, we're crossing another step off our list in the long list of things we need to do to beat this."

So I asked him, "Are you excited about getting your port in today?" At first he said no, but then he said he was because it meant that he was one step closer to beating this fight. I think I smiled from the inside out. Christopher has always amazed me by how strong he can be, in his mind he is 110% confident that he can beat this - and I am right behind him as his cheer leader cheering him on telling him to go for it!

The surgery only took and hour and they kept him in recovery for about 4 hours, at 2pm I was ready to take him home and the nurses I think we're glad to see him go, (he gave one nurse a hard time about her eating some extra slice of cheesecake he got and she thought he shouldn't have - or something along those lines). When he got in the car I asked him how he felt and he said in true Christopher fashion, "I feeeeellllll gooooood." Then he pulled out a card to show me that he not has metal in his body and he can set off metal detectors - he was very excited about that one!

After getting him home and situated I went back up to the office to finish some stuff up and then left to pick up Ethan, when I got home Mr. Feeeellll Good was so hot. He describe the pain as if someone was stabbing him with a screwdriver. So he took some pain med and went to bed.

And I am happy to day that today he is in NO PAIN (Yea!) and he only has mild discomfort from the tape they put over his wound. Today is good day and the start of a good weekend!